I Did It!

Yes, I have done it! I have finally found the right teacher and group of fellow dancers to support venturing into the world of performance.

After my last painful adventure into coupled relationships, I have noticed, as I explored what made me vulnerable, that I thrive on passion. Having read somewhere (I can’t remember where) that one can nourish a passion by committing oneself to it – based on the theory that a passion can grow with a set of skills – I decided to test this out. Because there seemed to be some seedlings of passion growing around belly dance, I consciously decided to see if I could turn belly dance into a passion for me!

It seems to be working!

One of my goals for this year was to face my performance anxiety head-on. So, when I had a chance to perform, I jumped on it, not only committing to dance in the group piece but also pushing myself to do a solo.

Photo from my first solo performance

Photo from my first solo performance

It was a very interesting challenge – and I am proud that I did it, especially because I didn’t let my anxiety stop me. That anxiety showed up in several ways. First, my mind came up with disaster scenarios, basically anything that could go wrong, did – in my mind. And most of it involved blood and gore: I’d get into an accident seemed to be the most common theme with lots of variations. Then, once I was visible on stage (strangely not before), my whole body was shaking. Not deterred, I smiled even though the quiver in my lower lip was a bit distracting. During the solo, I managed to present snake arms despite the light vibration in my arms. (You can watch the whole performance here!)

Urban Flowers Debut at Rakkasah 2016

Urban Flowers Debut at Rakkasah 2016

Would I do it again? Yes! I am already coming up with ideas…

Group photo by Treina of YogaLove, the welcoming yoga and dance studio where we practice. She also skillfully did my makeup… Solo photo by Carl Sermon Photography

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