“Even in death there is inequality. Our deaths are as unimportant as our lives.” quoted in the documentary We Are Not Princesses.
That quote stuck with me. This morning my mind returned to it as I was contemplating, yet again, the meaninglessness of my life. Somehow I want to touch people, like the artists in the show I went to last night, and I cannot figure out what my talent is. Maybe I don’t have a talent. Maybe my life is just as unimportant as the lives of most of the seven billion people on this planet. I have lots of company. And many of those people don’t worry about meaning. They’re not as preoccupied of having an impact as I am. They are worried about surviving. Maybe it’s time to let go of that desperate search for meaning. Maybe it’s time to just live my life as unimportant as it is. Acceptance. Maybe I can pick something that gives it meaning to me. Dance. Knitting. But as long as I tie the meaningfulness of my life to other people, I will be in trouble, because those other people seem more interested in other things than in me. My life needs to be meaningful for me, not for others! What would make my life meaningful?
That’s the wrong question! The question needs to be: What gives this moment meaning? How can I give this moment meaning? By being fully present in it.
“All suffering is the result of giving attention to a negative, self-absorbed conversation with egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate in conditioned mind.” ~ Cheri Huber