Project 3Ts: Trauma to ThrivingI’ve thought of several questions that might come up and am giving my answers below. I am sure I’ve missed something, so drop me a note or add a comment below if you have other questions (or suggestions!).


Can I participate if…


Project 3Ts? Transforming relationship trauma into a thriving life! Or shorter: Trauma to thriving!

What do you mean by thriving? In Project 3Ts, I am more interested in the lived experience of the woman who feels she is thriving in life (and I will ask what she means by that…). Also, I realize that some might call this something else: Happy, content, excited about life, etc. Basically, it’s going beyond the sense of “surviving” to something more (see also the next question…). To me, thriving means living beyond momentary happiness in a state of sustained contentment with life and being able to flow with its ups and downs without being thrown off course too much. I would also see myself passionately pursuing my dreams. (I explored this some more in this blog post.)

I am pretty happy most of the time but I am not sure if I am “thriving.” Are you still interested in talking?Yes! We might just simply define things differently… Or maybe “thriving” is overhyped anyways…

I am thriving but not in a relationship. Can I participate? Yes! I believe that there are many ways that we can thrive! Although I have some personal curiosity whether it is possible to be in a healthy coupled relationship after having been traumatized in a relationship (or three), I do not believe that being in a coupled relationship is necessary to thrive. So, let’s talk!

What is complex trauma? The technical term is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). Basically, it happens when the trauma occurs over a longer period of time than a one-off event, like a rape or car accident. It is not to dismiss those traumas, of course, but to differentiate something that happened over time, which can create very unique trauma patterns. You can read more here. Please note that this term is not that accepted wildly accepted and not included in the diagnostic manual. I am finding it useful to differentiate between trauma from a single event and trauma from a longer experience. However, I have not looked into the science, if there is any, that shows that this trauma is distinct enough to warrant separate diagnoses. So, I am mostly using this here to differentiate, not to diagnose.

What do you mean by coupled relationship? The short answer is that this is what we usually think of now as “a relationship.” A longer answer is here.

I identify as a man, can I participate? I am trying to learn how women thrive after the kind of trauma I have experienced. So, for now, I am limiting the scope of the project. There might be other ways you can participate – check them out below.

I was abused as a child (or have experienced some other kind of trauma, not in a relationship), can I participate? Again, not at this point, as I am trying to heal my own trauma through this project. There might be other ways you can participate – check them out below.

Are there other ways I can help out? Yes! You can help spread the word: Share about Project 3Ts with your friends on social media (#project3Ts on Twitter) or in conversations. If you have a sense of thriving in your life, you can help by sharing what that’s like. Sometimes when I am really down, I doubt that any human can thrive, let alone after the experience of trauma. As always, contact me to share your story.

I am not thriving, what can I do? Ay! That’s where I am, too! So, join me on my healing journey, learn from the women I discover through this project by subscribing to my blog, and check out the resources I’ve compiled.


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